Odd Hobby: Fake Titles

Posted by – April 1, 2009

I’ve had this article bouncing around for awhile now and finally thought I should get around to posting it.  I was originally just lazy, and then it occurred to me that what I may be doing could be a form of fraud.  However since I’m not actually doing this for any actual gain and don’t do it for documents that actually MATTER for anything I shouldn’t worry about it.

Some time ago I had a discussion on the UplinkIRC Network with a good friend of mine (Darkk Rage), and I explained one of my very odd hobbies.  Everyone signs up for memberships for Movie rental places, grocery store club cards or even movie theaters for the additional discounts you can receive. When filling out the applications however I tend to add titles to my name that I don’t actually have.  Such as ‘Dr’ “Sir’ “Gen’ ‘Capt’ or a wide variety of all of them combined.

Not only does the card that I receive look cool to the point of being comical (Sir Dr Capt John Smith), but when I need to call in to these places or when I’m at the store and they call me “Mr” I tend to correct them.

“I didn’t go to school for so long to be a Mr” or “I didn’t kneel before the queen to be a Mr” etc.

I got the idea when I was working for a horrible American cellphone company where disgruntled employees would add titles to random caller’s phone oders for no reason but to get a laugh for the next representative and maybe a confused call from the customer.

I got the second part (correcting people) from the fact that if you happened to have a doctor on the line and called them ‘Mr’ they’d freak out and almost start screaming, (which may be a symptom of an inferiority complex), but there was no way for us to tell their titles or not as the applications used didn’t have such a field (probably due to they were coded before such a thing were invented, fuck they were old.).

The important thing to note for this however is to NEVER do this on a tax form, or resume, or anything that it may actually MATTER if you have a title.  Not only would it be unethical, but it’d probably be fraud.

Anyone else do anything similar?  I’d love to hear other things I can do too.

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